When Politics and Mental Health Collide - A Sexual Abuse Survivor's Response
I was sexually abused for many years of my childhood.
I was raped as a young teen then again as a young adult.
These experiences altered my whole life, my worldview, my relationships. After becoming so depressed that all I could think about was how comforting death might be, I went to therapy for help. I worked like hell, and spent over 10 years in therapy, working at first to stay alive, then eventually learning how to build a life in which I feel strong, and empowered.
A life in which I will NOT be silenced. Where I will fight for others. A life in which I now work with sexual abuse survivors as a mental health therapist.
And then, nearly half of the country voted into the highest office in the land, an abusive narcissist.
A man who says, off the cuff, that he will “grab them by the pussy” and that you can “do whatever you want with them”, a man who has no respect for the innate value of women.
Donald and Melania Trump have attempted to normalize abusive behavior and words by saying “boys will be boys”, and that’s "just locker room talk”.
No! That’s not right, and that’s not normal!
Needless to say, many abuse survivors are triggered by this situation.
We feel unsafe.
Since the election, the mental health field has experienced an influx of people dealing with trauma symptoms… most of these are strong stable individuals who suddenly find themselves experiencing symptoms of PTSD from abusive
events that happened long ago, that they thought were resolved. The psychiatric units in hospitals have experienced an influx of individuals who are suicidal. And many have been lost who were overcome to the point of taking their own lives.
I tell you this not to depress you, but in hopes that you will not minimize the impact the election has potentially had on your mental health.
If you feel unsafe, violated, depressed, anxious, exhausted… those are NORMAL responses in this situation.
If you are experiencing heightened hypervigilance, panic, rage, fear, inability to sleep…those are NORMAL responses.
If you are having nightmares, if trauma that happened years ago that you thought was resolved is now back in your thoughts, overwhelming your body...
If you feel crazy, emotionally out of your own control, your eating patterns have changed, you feel self-destructive, these are all NORMAL responses to traumatic experiences.
If you feel shaken to the core, and unstable…this is NORMAL for this situation.
What is NOT normal, nor can we ever let it become normal, is the thought that ANYONE has the right to emotionally, physically, or sexually abuse another person.
We must fight against the normalization of all forms of abuse.
We must watch out for each other. We need each other, for strength, and hope.
I vow to watch out for you, your daughters, our children.
We will teach our daughters (our children) safety, that their bodies are their own, that they get to say no, and yes. That’s their choice.
Their body. Their choice. My body. My choice.
We will teach our sons (our children) respect for all people. We will teach them consent, and empower them to protect and act when they see vulnerable individuals in unsafe situations.
We will not shrink into isolation, fear, and self-destructive thoughts and behaviors.
We will be gentle with ourselves, understanding that we are not crazy, that how we are being triggered is normal given how our past experience of abuse intersects with our present political circumstance.
We will not be alone. We will connect with healing communities. We will seek out support from therapists, friends, pastors, recovery groups, spiritual communities.
And as we gather our courage and strength, we will harness our anger and feelings of injustice. We will fight against the normalization of every type of abuse and marginalization, until there is no longer the need to do so.
We will NOT be silenced.
We will create art, speak up, write, protest, take care of our bodies, teach, organize, resist, mentor, listen and learn.
In the words of my hero Maya Angelou, “But still, like dust, I’ll rise.”
We will rise.
Together. We. Will. Rise.
